big weeks
koruna muse turned 2 last week. i would have never guessed how much i could learn from a two year old. my time spent with runabird has taught me not only about the unfathomable depths of love, but also about myself, the world, human nature. i have never felt more challenged or more proud or more vulnerable.
these are big weeks for koruna - big weeks for us all. runa just moved into a big girl bed. she doesn't really need diapers anymore. she understands that she has a brother on the way. and she's losing her nanny.
my sister, whitney, has lived on our property for several years. trading nanny hours for rent, she has helped us take care of runa since she was just a few weeks old. this dreamy situation has enabled me to work from home while running my business.
tomorrow whitney moves. and everything changes.
my daughter has been forever imprinted by whitney's daily influence. i reckon that means that a part of whitney will always live with us.
i'm nervous to see how i'll now balance my career and my family life. how will i possibly find the time to do it all? how will i keep from going loco?
time will tell.
family portrait june 2011
shana came over the other day and took our latest family portrait. it's so nice to have a friend you can still play with. thanks, shana.
expansive love
i've long had a fascination with matryoshka, but those beautiful russian nesting dolls took on a greater meaning for me while i was pregnant with my daughter, koruna. i saw them as a symbol of the unbroken maternal lineage of which i am a part - a woman coming from a woman coming from a woman.
i find it miraculous that baby girls are born into this world with all the eggs that they will have in their lifetime - that while koruna was nesting inside of me, all of her little eggs were nesting inside of her. i, in fact, held the eggs of my grandchildren.
i am also knocked out to think that the egg-that-was-to-become-me was once nesting inside my maternal grandmother when she carried my mama. thinking about that strengthens my emotional connection to all the women who've come before me and all the women who are still to come.
it struck me the other day that having a son means something entirely different since his children will not nest inside of him. it means that there is perhaps a little girl out there - or maybe she's not here yet - that could one day carry my grandchildren. who is this little girl? where does she live? who is bathing her and kissing her goodnight and teaching her how to love?
i know that since my sisters and i were conceived, my mama has prayed for the little boys growing up somewhere that we would someday grow to love.
she has prayed for ian for my entire lifetime. what a beautiful gift.
ian and i have been married for 3 years this week, which seems like such a short time since i've loved him for over 8. i like to think that my mama's love, the love of a stranger, was somehow helpful to ian throughout his life - that maybe it even guided him in my direction.
and so i open up my heart and send my love to my daughter's and my son's future loves, to their friends, their enemies, their teachers.
loving strangers is such a different practice in loving....
granola
i took my first shot at making my own granola bars last night. i seem to snack constantly these days so i thought this would be a healthy alternative to the brownies and (pint of) blue bell homemade vanilla ice cream that i crave every night before bed. the recipe was crazy easy. it turned out, though, that the granola bars did not become bars at all. they just became granola. but, it was MAD good granola - warm and crunchy and honey-and-brown-sugar sweet. so i figured that at that point, the best choice would be to throw it in a bowl with the aforementioned blue bell homemade vanilla ice cream. so much for healthy treats.
in retrospect, i should have poured milk over the warm granola and let it get all soft and mushy. next time.
for mmm-mmm good granola, here's the recipe:
* 2 tablespoons butter * 1/3 cup honey * 1/3 cup brown sugar * 2 cups rolled oats * 3/4 cup slivered almonds * 1/4 cup pepitas * 1/2 cup raisins * 1/2 cup chopped dried apricots * 2 tablespoons wheat germ
Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Line an 8 inch baking pan with parchment paper and set aside. In a large saucepan, melt butter with honey and brown sugar. In a large bowl mix the oats, dried fruits & nuts with the wheat germ. Pour mixture into the butter/sugar mixture and stir thoroughly.
Press the granola mixture into your prepared baking pan and bake for 30-35 minutes. Let cool and cut into bars.