oh, marvel

oh, the love! marvel heron ingram was born at home on monday, august 22nd.

he is astonishing. breathtaking. marvelous.

i'll write about these days soon - i'm just too busy living them right now.

making room

my studio - once packed with a jeweler's bench, tiny tools and heavy machines - is now converted into a birthing room. a big tub sits in the middle of the room waiting to be filled with water, with me, perhaps with marvel. what is usually my creative work space has become a space for a different kind of creation altogether.

i'm due in 2 days and am trying to wait patiently for the marvel's arrival, but patience has never been one of my virtues. i don't know that i'll ever hold a child inside of me again. we don't plan on it. and so every once in a while i remind myself to close my eyes and really notice how it feels to carry mars, to share my everything with him. i want to hide this memory somewhere deep inside me so that someday, when i need it most, i can find it and revisit the here and now.

and yet i know that i can never come back here. i already barely remember who i was before i was a mother - i am only bits and pieces of that woman now. what will i later remember of these years? which seconds will ingrain themselves in the folds of my brain, embed themselves in the walls of my heart?

i don't know. i feel ready to meet my son, but part of me wants to hold on to these days of just me and ian and koruna. so all i know to do right now is to make room. make room in my body for my son. make room for marvel's arrival. make room for our expanding family in our home. make room in my heart for more expansive, exploding love. make room for the memories.

early morning at barton springs

shana has done it again, folks.... she met us a few mornings ago at barton springs.  i'm so glad she did.

mars and i went swimming at the springs again early this morning. pink orange sun coming up behind the buildings downtown, white moon still hanging overhead.  mornings there are magic.

popsicle afternoon

shana came over the other day so we could do some sewing. i actually got a rare photo of her (below) - she's always behind the camera. we finished off the afternoon with popsicles and shana captured it beautifully. a lovely afternoon...

marvel

marvel

a wonder

something that causes wonder, admiration, or astonishment; a wonderful thing

i'm 34 weeks pregnant with our son and i still haven't posted about his name. i love his name:

Marvel Heron Ingram.

we've had the name Marvel tucked away in a secret spot in our hearts for a while now. i love that it describes what he already is to me - a marvel, a wonder.

we chose Heron because ian and i have a history with birds.  the first trip i took with ian's family was into the czech countryside to look for birds.  the equipment, the body of knowledge, the skill of intense "birders" was new to me then, but i have since grown to share their wide-eyed admiration for the fascinating little beauties.  birds have had their place in almost every ceremony and ritual of ours.  ian and i both have bird tattoos on our arms.

i even have a circle of bird skulls on mine. it seemed natural to choose a bird name for our son.

the thesaurus says that the opposite of marvel is expectation. how fitting that is as well. i was raised with 2 sisters, i have lots of girl cousins, and i have a fierce love for a large group of amazing girlfriends. i'm not going to know what to do with a little boy.  this time around, i have no expectations.

i can only marvel at it all.