> > marfa, texas. el cosmico <

it is our first real family vacation - no event to attend, no one to visit, no work to be done.  we are simply being.  together.  ian and koruna and i.  just back from ian’s show in nyc, we were looking for a lull and we’ve found it here.  the tranquility of marfa is a pendulum swing from the exhilaration of new york city.

we are tucked away in an old refashioned trailer on a patch of land called ‘el cosmico’ - sort of luxury camping.  from my window I see trailers, yurts, tents, teepee.  further still I see cows, the border patrol and a field of donald judd’s art.  this place is really somethin’.

our trailer is a world of our own.  it feels like a boat adrift in these vast plains of west texas.  we venture every so often onto the deck to take baths in the midday sun or to feel the chill of the starlit nights or to make sure that we haven’t been blown away by the gale force winds.  we stroll about town.  we watch runa crawl from me to ian to me again.  that’s about it.  i do relish our leisurely pace.

we took this vacation because we needed to know that we could take this vacation.  when ian and i contemplated starting a family, we assured ourselves that we wouldn’t let having children interfere too much with our gypsy lifestyle.  this trip is our first small attempt at our kind of travel with three instead of two.  it’s different – nights in, schedules arranged out of respect for the almighty nap, etc.  but it’s not all that different – we take pleasure in each others presence, we prioritize being over doing, we look around and gain a shift in perspective.

> > marfa, texas. look up. <

marfa, texas.  it’s all space and air and stars out here.  i breathe in, i breathe out.  i look up and see infinity in those stars.  i look up and see forever.  i look up and am tiny.

these are my daughter’s first stars.  this is the stars’ first glance at koruna.  i look up and imagine a mutual recognition, a reciprocal wonder.  i look up and imagine that she’s made of those stars, a universe in herself, infinitely unknowable though i’ll try all my days.  i look up at those stars and marvel at their majesty.  i look up and realize how seldom i look up.