somewhere between the hours of 6am and 9am this morning i realized that i would have preferred being in labor with my children to actually hanging out with my children. some hours are just like that. parenting can leave me huddled up crying in the fetal position on the floor while childbirth i found empowering. given the choice i often do things half-ass, so i liked that labor accepted nothing less than my fiercest endurance, my total surrender, and my absolute faith. i also liked that there was an end and a prize. these things are true regardless of how a child enters a family.
however they come to us - through adoption, cesarean, natural birth, surrogacy, whatever - i believe that each particular experience prepares the parent for their unique child. i know that the distinct births of each of my children helped prepare me to parent my rascals/dreams come true.
life with my 2 cherished ones is maddening and beautiful and exhausting. every day i endure the chaos, i surrender to the fact that i am not in control, and i have faith that we are all going to make it through the next 24 hours.
it's hard.
and i don't want it to ever end.