this morning marvel and i watched the morning sunlight come in through the living room window and illuminate all the fine dust floating in the air (yikes). it was mesmerizing. i tossed him up uP UP in that sparkly beautiful air over and over and caught him as his giggles rained down all over me. this tossing-up-in-the-air thing is one of my favorite daily rituals. it gives me joy to see mars at the peak of the toss in that moment of weightlessness - so light, so buoyant, so trusting. i wish i could leave him there suspended above me, lay down on the ground below, and gaze upon him. how often in the years to come will i wish i could freeze time?
marvel is 5 1/2 months old now. he is big. he's solid.
i realized that i won't be able to toss him around forever, so i threw him until my arms hurt from throwing, my neck hurt from straining, my cheeks hurt from smiling.