time. i can see it traipsing its way across my body. i see my crow’s feet creeping from my eyes toward my temples. (they'll be like yours one day, dad. i really like them on you, by the way.) i see the fine lines. i feel the aches and pains that now take longer to heal. time is moving faster and i am moving slower. my children are moving faster and i am moving slower. or maybe i'm not moving slower, i'm just spending way more energy to move at the same pace. i'm just trying to keep up here. like i'm running to stand still. except i never actually get to stand still....
time's brisk pace is more noticeable than ever these days as it grows my children, stretches their limbs, expands their minds.
as long as I’ve known ian, he has drawn out huge 6-month, 8-month, 12-month calendars that he keeps on the walls of his studio. we've had them from time to time on the walls of our house since the kids were born and we've marked them with first words, first steps, and hilarious instances in addition to our weekly plans.
I picked up ian's big-calendar habit along the way and now find it a necessity in my studio as well. i sit today in my studio surrounded by the year ahead.
since last night i could have sworn that the hour between dinner and the kids' bedtime took 2 1/2 days, i am grateful for the perspective the yearly calendar offers. time is moving fast. i see now that it is only going to get faster. tracking it on paper somehow comforts me.