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un ano

the alchymista

a year.  it's been a year since marvel appeared on this earth.  right here in this house.  oh lovely day.

i feel like i didn't exist before marvel.  and in a way, it is true.  i feel like whoever i used to be is gone, replaced by koruna and marvel's mama.

i used to feel like the leading lady in my own life.   but as i alternately dance and trudge through early motherhood, i have come to understand that's no longer true.  we, the ingrams, are an ensemble cast.  i am just as invested in the other  characters as i am in myself - often more so. there are moments that i feel exasperated by that, wishing for more time to think my own thoughts or to search for some small glimmer of recognition of who-i-once-was.

but most moments i am simply yet madly in love with our ensemble.  our posse.  our tribe.

and it is marvel heron ingram - our wondrous one, our treasured son - that completes our tribe.

i love every cell, every moment of him.  i love his subtleties and his substance.

and i swear i love this whole damn world more now that he is in it.